When 10-year-old Austin Smith heard Barack Obama had been elected president, he had one question: Does this mean I won’t get a new gun for Christmas?

Fortunately, his mom went ahead and bought him a gun early this year.

There will be an election, followed by rioting, the complete unraveling of society, and, I assume, a zombie problem. And everyone will agree it’s an improvement. – Scott Adams

“I’d love to see Obama tell Alaskans they can’t carry guns.  It’s grizzly bear food you can believe in!” – Sebastian, on Obama’s desire to ban concealed carry federally

I can’t figure how a mad hatter costume for girls can be slutty, but apparently it is. It’s like how the adult movie industry can pornify a regular hollywood output (Saving Private Ryan => Saving Ryan’s Privates, etc). The Hallowe’en costume industry is sluttifying any old profession. Lawyer? Slut lawyer (Ally McBeal like costume with even shorter skirts)! Nurse? Slut nurse! I’m just wondering what profession is slut-proof. (Java developer?) – dericwater

“It’s actually been a real eye opener about exactly what kind of people are the ones we’re trying to reach, and the kinds of people that support John McCain. It’s at the same time encouraging, discouraging, and sometimes frightening, to see what the gun vote is really made up of. The real answer is ordinary Americans, with a lot of different opinions.” – Sebastian

If the government of the District of Columbia can take your guns away from you in our nation’s capital, Prescott, Arkansas, and many other small towns across the country could be next.

-Cong. Mike Ross on the House floor during debate on the DC gun bill.

I’m not going to resort to shooting people, when merely explaining it to them will suffice to get them on my side. -Sebastian

The thing is, this is a tested theory.  Even in the Happy Valley of Massachusetts, I managed to convince college students that campaign finance was bad, especially when I put it in terms of what it means for their dear little green hippie candidates.

Conservatives can either vote for McCain, and fear he may be lying, or they can vote for Obama and hope to God he is. – XRLQ

“Anytime “grease” is mentioned in the same phrase as any small rodent, my Squick-o-meter gets tripped.” -Squeaky

“Please, get her out of college and into a Monastery or the adult industry as soon as possible.” -South Park Pundit